Since I realised that I am growing up finally (not me, but my body), I have had this one question floating endlessly in my mind - What is my Aim? Well! I have my basic needs addressed and taken care of. I have a beautiful caring wife, the best possible parents that I could have, a good job and lots of love over all. Still I am fighting day and night towards an unknown goal. In the office, at home...even in sleep... I am always on my toes, as if to prove something. Seldom I stop and meditate to analyse, but in vain... Is it my long term professional goal that bugs me? The childhood dream that I managed to keep a secret? Or is it that I desire power and money?
------------NO-------------
I have got all these under control. I am basically living through my professional goal... My childhood dream got somewhat realised the day that I was married and "Power and money"? Well! I decided long ago not to follow these, but to make them follow me instead :).
Then what do I seek? Digging deep inside, I have realised that this unknown goal has nothing to do with my body, but my soul... the real ME. There is this clear sense of waking up. And like every day that I (my body) wake up and seek methods of going to office, I feel I(my soul) have woken up to seek something. Suddenly there is this heightened sense of things. I do not get impatient anymore yet I get angry pretty easily... The people that I hated once, seem lovely... and some whom I loved... seem to be distant. I see through things now. What is this? What is happening to me? Although it feels better to be "in-control", but I find myself more mature now. This is surely going to take some time.
Perhaps I have to dig deeper... How much deep - I don't know.
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